I am a confused personality.


Firstly, I am a different person every day. So, the things mentioned here are as of May 2021. These may or may not be valid a year from now. So, some of these will remain, some will change.


Rohit Joshi

Most of these points will contradict each other, and that's why the confusing personality I mentioned above.


Facts About Me:


  1. My priorities queue. Myself> Mom> Rest Of The Immediate Family(6 members)> Friends> Girls. It will change, though, I guess.
  2. I don't preach what I teach.
  3. I am blind without my spectacles. I cannot recognize my mom if she is just 20 meters away from me.
  4. I talk to myself all day long. FUCKING ALL DAY'Rohit uth ja,' 'rohit khana kha le,' 'Abe kitni der soyega?'
  5. I believe I can speak very fluently in English, but when someone starts a conversation in English, my heartbeat goes up to 150, and I find myself short of breath! Till the time my heartbeat slows, and I get comfortable, I had already ruined the conversation. 
  6. I'm not too fond of motivational stuff, but now and then find myself reading quotes/ listening to people,/giving people Motivation.
  7. I research a lot about everything. So, for example, if I don't know the meaning of a word you just said to me, I will look it up in the dictionary, then & there, or add a note to look at it afterward.
  8. I don't care how I look, what people think about me, and have no dressing sense. I buy the same clothes every time black/dark shirt or t-shirt and blue slim-fit jeans! I have often traveled in public places like malls, metro, fancy restaurants in t-shirts, boxers, and bathroom slippers.
  9. I don't play sports. I once scored a basket from half-ground, and I still boast of it to this date! I get confused while dribbling the ball, which leads to me dribbling with both hands.
  10. I love keeping things organised. My mail, the folders in my laptop, but I clean my room rarely. Like to me, it should FEEL clean, that's it.
  11. I am 90% punctual. So I will reach the place at ten sharp (1-2 minutes up/down) if you are a girl and you called me & 10:05 to 10:15 if you're a boy and you called me!
  12. I will be 95% honest with you if I am frank with you. (Not 100% because I leave scope for improvements,)
  13. I pretend to have a CASUAL ATTITUDE but am very CAUTIOUS of things, like money, health, relationship, What I say over the internet, etc.
  14. You cannot predict me- I am Moody! Sometimes, I give cold reactions to the happiest moments, and other times I would be casual on the most profound things!
  15. I dream a lot. My favorite game is to imagine fake scenarios where I win, give kickass replies, beat the shit out of people & give filmy dialogues in real-life situations!
  16. I read philosophy trying to get some answers, but it confused me even more!
  17. Human psychology truly amazes me. Why we react to things the way we do? Stuff like this.
  18. I can think of hilarious jokes, but they never come to me when I need them the most.
  19. Deep inside, I am a shy person who loves to live all by himself. 
  20. I have learned a few psychological tricks and use them on people. They work flawlessly. 
  21. I am trying to understand women's psychology now. It's hard, but I will try. (Men are from mars, women from venus is an excellent place to start)
  22. Since I had no significant relationship and lots of time, I have watched a lot of porn and done what comes afterward.
  23. My saddest day of the year- My Birthday. I don't know why I like to do nothing but sleep on my b'day! I am in 'The Mood' on my birthday, which is a mixture of irritation, sadness, loneliness, and all the negative stuff!
  24. When I'm in "The Mood," I don't give a fuck about anything, even my priorities queue!
  25. I don't believe in God. But, find myself doing all the worshipping because of my mother.
  26. I am a listener. In a conversation, I love to hear people, what they have to say, their experiences, etc.
  27. I say I am a listener, but when I talk, I don't stop!
  28. I don't get angry quickly.
  29. I hate stupid questions. I hate repeating things (Why the fuck people can't remember what I told them a few days/week/months ago), I hate stereotypes. I hate people with staunch mentality. And these indeed make me angry.
  30. I love to learn new things and improve myself every day!
  31. I am more productive when I am living alone.
  32. I am flexible. I can adjust according to people and situations.
  33. I can cook just eatable food, but I tell people I can cook very well and they will never forget the taste of my hand-cooked food! 
  34. I have a to-do list that has hundreds of pending tasks accumulated over the years.
  35. I was also into technical stuff like simple wifi hacking, spoofing, etc. I was curious about people chatting on social media since my social media chats are 98% empty or filled with shared videos only! I have left this habit, though!
  36. Some days, I think of doing so many things but end up doing nothing. So Analysis-Paralysis is a real thing for me.
  37. People say I look innocent, but I am not! Sari duniya ka jhol karke baitha hun!
  38. Talking about emotional things, I feel talking to girls more comfortable. I don't know it's their calming voice or what?
  39. I accept my mistakes, and I say sorry a lot. (90% of the time)
  40. I remember the details(85% of the time). If we have been close, I can tell vivid stories about us verbally. I wish I could write vivid stories too!
  41. I try different things, like my blog was just an experiment, but now it is an integral part of my life, and it gave me a career I would like to work.
  42. I don't want to be answerable to anyone, not even to my family. But, again find myself explaining stuff to them EVERY SINGLE DAY!
  43. I regret things a lot, especially the money I could have made last year when the stock market crashed. Only if I was patient!
  44. I am not patient. Sometimes I am, but mostly I am not.
  45. I try not to indulge in relationship stuff but again find myself thinking about it every day!
  46. I am emotional and have cried while watching 'Munna Bhai MBBS' once.
  47. I don't cry in front of people but mostly when I'm alone watching movies.
  48. I think I am logical, but most of the time, I make decisions emotionally and at the moment. So although sometimes they turn out to be good, most of the time they don't!
  49. I am a fucking good liar, and most probably, you won't be able to differentiate when I am lying and when I am not.

Beliefs:


  1. I believe I will look very handsome if I dress correctly and work out a bit. And that's the reason I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror looking at myself.
  2. I believe if you're in love, your partner should be your best friend first, your partner later. For me, friendship is the foundation of a relationship. And I always try that (consciously and unconsciously)!
  3. I believe you can never be a good person in everyone's book. There will always be someone who will hate you for what you are. (Again Motivation, see) 
  4. I feel you can never be friends with someone you had feelings for in the past. For me, the emotions just come up after some time. But, I am open to change, or by saying this, I am giving myself false hopes of getting the person I want? Confusing, right?
  5. I have massive respect for sportsperson, artists, painters, singers, and all forms of creative people. Because I cannot do any of what they do!


Likes & Loves


  1. I love the cinema! I think it is the best way one can convey something. I love Drama because that's where you see the acting skills!
  2. I love music and downloading songs and organising them.
  3. I would like to sing a song and play guitar someday in front of people. But I don't know how to do that. So, that day is not coming anytime soon.
  4. Hygellig is the feeling I would like to achieve. In Scandinavia, this means fireplaces, time with friends and family, and, usually, hot chocolate.
  5. Lastly, I think I like to appreciate myself, that's why more positive points than negative ones!


Writing & Diaries:


  1. I love writing. It is liberating! My love for writing started in 8th class when I bought a diary to keep a journal. Now, I have four diaries- 3 paperbacks and one online. And I think I have enough content to write an autobiography! But I love writing more when I do it for myself. When I do it for earning money, I have a love/hate relationship with it. Somedays I like it, other days I hate it.
  2. I love my diaries more than people. It's not like I have written something very personal in it; my whole family has read it already. It's just I don't want to lose it. It's like a close person to me.
  3. I want to be famous. I believe I will do something huge in my life, but I'm 22 and haven't done shit! Also, I don't know why I have a gut feeling my diaries will be my only legacy, just like the diary of a young girl. Words never die, you know. That's one of the reasons I write, I guess.


Realizations:


  1. 95% of the days, I am a boring guy with everyday life.
  2. What I hate is most of the days; I am just surviving, not living the life.
  3. If everybody will die someday and it could even be tomorrow, what's the point of maintaining relationships- familial & others?
  4. And like every adult, I have realised 'Growing Up Sucks' & Money Is Important.
  5. Although I want to have every possible good experience that the world can offer, I also know that no matter how hard you try, there will always be more left out. So, really what's the point when your expectations have no limit? You can never be satisfied. Period.


Dislikes:


  1. I hate the concept of marriages and have decided not to get married! But again, I will leave some scope for changes! (I hate it, but I have a gut feeling I will end up getting married).
  2. I hate the sentence 'You're a nice guy. Nice guys always get zoned!
  3. I don't like the concept of religions, but I know that this world will fall apart without religions. So, therefore, it is a necessary evil. (A fan of Yuval Noah Harari)


My Negatives:


  1. Since I like to read articles from every fuckingwhere, I can say I know something about many things. So, most of the time, you can sense my Know-it-all/Condescending attitude while talking to me. I try to hide it, but it just eventually shows up!
  2. I am always doubtful of everyone. I Don't trust people easily. No matter how close the people are to me. I always leave scope for a change!
  3. I get selfish from time to time. 
  4. I have been told I boast my knowledge, and that's true. I do it consciously and unconsciously.
  5. I decide I will let go of people but find myself going back to them after a while. I can't let go quickly!
  6. I justify myself a lot, especially in arguments with my sister.
  7. I get irritated quickly, like for the smallest of things. And in most cases, it is when I am at home.
  8. My mom says I am lazy.
  9. I am a procrastinator.
  10. I try to be consistent in doing things but have been failing at it since forever. For example- growing my Instagram.
  11. I overthink every fucking thing. 
  12. I can't do monotonous things or things that get monotonous over time. That's the reason I left my job. And I can't stay in one place for long. It drives me crazy. Whether it's an office, the place I am residing currently, I need change!


General Thoughts:


  1. I recently read the word मृगतृष्णा and am in love with it! It means Mirage! But, a writer defined it as illusions that blur our reality. I know all of this is illusion-like getting famous, creating your legacy, being rich, but I still find myself working towards it!
  2. I don't know why I am not obese; I eat and sleep most days! Yet, weeks, sometimes months pass by, and I am still inside my home. I am not doing an ounce of physical exercise!
  3. I have started watching ads, reading Facebook ads because I want to be a copywriter.
  4. I have spent 100's of hours over my blog over the years trying to make it perfect to simply realize simplicity is what I want!
  5. If I meet an infant, I like him/her for approx 5 minutes, and after that, I feel like throwing him/her off the roof! 
  6. Somedays, I feel like I should leave everything behind and live on an island. Sounds depressing, right? But this idea fucking vanishes when I sleep it off! And it comes back again after a month or so! WTF?
  7. Another favorite pastime is deleting contacts, then again saving them, blocking & unblocking people over social media. I do this very often, like once or twice a month!
  8. Since I don't have money, I can't have certain experiences, so I read other people's experiences.

I don't think most of you reached the end of this post. 


I can write more, but I am tired and out of ideas now. So, this was a brief introduction to me!


I hope now no one will ask me, 'Tell me something about yourself!